


While My Guitar Gently Weeps

by JJBashir



Category: WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 19:33:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6623446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJBashir/pseuds/JJBashir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The news is too much to bear, and Shane sits in silence to reflect on a star burned out too soon</p>
            </blockquote>





	While My Guitar Gently Weeps

**Author's Note:**

> This is for a group of friends of mine. We all met and bonded over our love of wrestling, and we all met during the height of the Attitude Era. We were all fans of Chyna and even after she 'left' the WWE, we still followed her...and rooted for her. We roleplayed as our favorite wrestlers, we built too many years of head-canon and this is our way of coping with the loss of a hero. 
> 
> We love you Joanie. Rest In Peace

Why did he have to be in fucking England when this happened?

 

His knuckles were still numb where he'd been punching whatever his fist could find first. The room had no business being this fucking bright, it had no business being so goddamned cheerful and sunny out when--

He'd banished Paul right off the bat. It couldn't have been anyone who told him but Marissa but Marissa was home with the boys and so he'd had to hear it from the one person he didn't want to hear this from. He didn't want to look in his face and see the--what? It wasn't indifference, it wasn't disgust...what was it? Was it too much to hope for that it was haunted? Maybe a little pained? He loved his sister but he'd never really forgiven her for what she'd done, for what they'd done. What they'd inadvertently driven her to do, to cope.

He never made any bones with his family that they could do what they wanted but he wasn't ever going to abandon her. He couldn't give her money, he knew that would just be a way enable the behaviors. But he never turned away a phone call. He made a point of visiting when he was on the West Coast. He made a point of telling her how she needed to get the fuck away from Kid because Kid was no good for her. Even when he couldn't bear to see what the ravages of what she pumped into her body did to her face, to her eyes...he told her she was beautiful and would always be to him.

Because she was.

He couldn't do what he wanted to, barrel into the situation and take care of everything, not from here. But the little he could do, he did. For what it was worth. Probably not a hell of a lot.

It was a long time before he could say anything publicly and even then it felt weak and almost in vain. But he had to post the picture, his favorite picture of them, damn what anyone else thought. That picture, when she was happy and healthy and on top of the world. When she was truly the 9th Wonder of the World and he was happy to be outshadowed and to look smaller next to her. That never shamed him. It always irritated him, the people who did take umbrage, the guys who kicked off when they got booked to lose or drop a belt to her. He remembered having that conversation with Vince. 'give him his fucking three hundred large,' he'd remembered snarling at his father. 'Hell, I'll write the check out of my own pocket, since he wants to be such a dick about it but just warn him...I'll make sure everyone knows that he wasn't man enough to lose clean without a payoff.'

She always did tell him he needed to reign his temper in.

Why? He knew the news would say that it was the drugs, that it was an OD. Didn't they understand what demons she had to hide from? Demons of her past, demons of her present, memories of innocence lost and love taken away? No, he never agreed with the drugs, but he disliked the people who took advantage of her cries for help even more. Was he any better than them? He'd tried. He hoped she knew that regardless of everything, he loved her. He did love her.

 

He closed the blinds to shut out the sun. That the world could be bright and shining without her in it ate at him and left a bitter taste in his mouth, in his soul. He only hoped that she could find the peace now that had eluded her for so long. She'd deserved that. She'd earned that.

 

"Take care of her Eddie," he mumbled. "That's all I ask. Meet her at the gates and take good care of her."


End file.
